Writing Description: The John Updike Way
Show, don’t tell
Perhaps the most important piece of advice a book editor or book editing service can give is “show, don’t tell.” Often, as writers, we have a very clear idea in mind of who is saying what where when something is happening. However, creating that same image in our reader’s mind is the challenge we face. For best effect, don’t tell your reader that the sunrise was “beautiful” or even “spectacular”; instead, show that the sunrise “streaked the still gray sky with rosy pillars, illuminating the tops of the heavy clouds.” Allow your reader to see it and come to his or her own conclusion that it is beautiful. For example, John Updike, in his A&P, carefully describes the girls, but in Sammy’s words:
She had on a kind of dirty-pink – - beige maybe, I don’t know — bathing suit with a little nubble all over it and, what got me, the straps were down. They were off her shoulders looped loose around the cool tops of her arms, and I guess as a result the suit had slipped a little on her, so all around the top of the cloth there was this shining rim. If it hadn’t been there you wouldn’t have known there could have been anything whiter than those shoulders. With the straps pushed off, there was nothing between the top of the suit and the top of her head except just her, this clean bare plane of the top of her chest down from the shoulder bones like a dented sheet of metal tilted in the light. I mean, it was more than pretty.
Updike (or Sammy) could have told us that “Queenie” was pretty, but he chooses to focus on the details of her clothing.
Make a scene
We’ll talk more about scenes in regards to plot, but, like what’s onstage in a drama, what surrounds your characters will only add to their development and the reality of what’s happening. In this, appeal to all the senses, not just sight:
- What kind of light is there? Natural? Fluorescent? Are there colors?
- Describe a scent. Perfume/cologne? Flowers? New paint? Has someone just popped a breath mint?
- Besides the characters’ speech, is there a sound? Background conversation? Crickets? The creak of a rocking chair?
- Is there something notable about how it feels? Is there a draft? Has it become uncomfortably warm right when all eyes have turned to our hero?
Of course, not all of this needs to be included at all times. But the right kind of description can heighten the effect of a scene. For example, note how Updike brings in Sammy’s surroundings to emphasize the sudden discomfort:
All this while, the customers had been showing up with their carts but, you know, sheep, seeing a scene, they had all bunched up on Stokesie, who shook open a paper bag as gently as peeling a peach, not wanting to miss a word. I could feel in the silence everybody getting nervous, most of all Lengel, who asks me, “Sammy, have you rung up this purchase?”
Visualize your characters as actors
Shaping a good character should take care of this issue, but it’s worth a second look. While good description can help us to visualize the character as a figure (i.e., looks, clothing etc.), good description can also help us to visualize the character as a person. For example, what does the character look like when angry? Does he or she have a nervous habit that might come out in an uncomfortable situation?
Queenie’s blush is no sunburn now, and the plump one in plaid, that I liked better from the back — a really sweet can — pipes up, “We weren’t doing any shopping. We just came in for the one thing.”
“That makes no difference,” Lengel tells her, and I could see from the way his eyes went that he hadn’t noticed she was wearing a two-piece before. “We want you decently dressed when you come in here.”
Here, we can see Updike drawing our attention to how people look—Queenie’s blush and Lengel’s eyes—to suggest emotion rather than attempting to tell us directly. Besides being a great writer, Updike was one of the greatest book editors of all time.
–Dr. Dan, Edit911.com, Inc.
The Dissertation Writing Blues
You’re on the home stretch. Your committee has given you the clearance to begin writing your dissertation. That light at the end of the tunnel is a bit brighter. Now, the only thing that stands between you and your defense is a document that may seem to have a mass that is equivalent to that of Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary or that requires more paper than can be produced from an Amazonian rainforest.
This may seem insurmountable. Believe me, it is not. Aside from excellent time management skills, you can complete your thesis if you learn to strike a balance between writing and…well…not writing. For the next few weeks, months, but hopefully not years, you’ll be living and breathing your dissertation. You know your thesis better than any one, and writing may come easily at times; however, there will be times when your focus and clarity give way to the following:
- Self-doubt
- Dismay
- Anger
- Fatigue
- Sorrow
- Apathy
These aren’t in any particular order. Actually, you may feel all of these at the same time. This is why you feel like you’re going to go insane. It’s OK. Breathe. Step away from the computer (hit ‘Save’ first). It is at times like these when you need a serious distraction – something that completely removes you from your dissertation. Or something that is completely mindless and removes you from reality. I can only speak from experience, so here are a few distractions that were invaluable to me while I wrote my dissertation.
- Internet games
They’re an easy and quick distraction. You’re already in front of your computer, so why not? Sit there, go blank, grow some crops, solve some puzzles, shoot some aliens. Whatever floats your boat.
- Exercise
Yes, this requires some motivation. You may see this as more work, but the stress relief and clarity of mind that comes with regular exercise can do wonders during the dissertation writing process. Make an exercise schedule and stick to it. Running, resistance training, Wii Sports. Again, whatever floats your boat.
- Reading
Read for enjoyment, whether a new book or your favorite one. If you’re sensitive to it, avoid the news. It can be depressing.
- Family
More than likely, your family knows absolutely nothing about what you’re studying. Call or have dinner with your significant other, your parents, your siblings, or whomever, and take great comfort in the fact that, if you speak about your dissertation, no one will understand you.
- Sleep
Need I say more?
Obviously, these are purely suggestions. You’ll need to find what works best for you. Writing your dissertation is just another of the flaming hoops through which you must jump in order to secure your Ph.D. It certainly isn’t the last. You still have to do the dissertation editing to comply with your institution’s formatting requirements, make revisions that appease your advisor and your committee, defend, and meet all the deadlines for graduation. You may even have to hire a dissertation editing service to help you finish up. But hey, at least the writing part is a flaming hoop that you can complete on your own terms.
–Dr. Mike, www.edit911.com
Top 12 Tips in Writing a Dissertation
Very often, when doctoral candidates complete their dissertations, they seek dissertation editors to give them guidance on the structure and organization of their writing. Such guidance can range from the document or chapter level to the individual clause level and includes proofreading for typographical and grammatical errors. However, no matter how capable your dissertation editor, the dissertation will be stronger if you consider the following tips early on during your doctoral studies.
Selecting a Dissertation Topic
1. Find a topic that you love and care about. Choose a topic that you will be able to live with, think about constantly, and even dream about for a few years. When you complete the dissertation, you should be, for a brief time at least, the world’s foremost expert on your topic. In order to reach that goal, you must care about your topic enough to become deeply involved with it and want to know everything about it.
2. Begin thinking about your dissertation topic from the beginning of your studies. Every course you take will require you to submit a paper or some sort of project. Try to make an original observation about the topic in every paper or project you submit. Doing so may result in a viable dissertation topic. Consider each topic available for you to write about in terms of whether you could live with that topic for an extended period of time, whether it fits with your long-range career goals, and whether you would really have anything original to say about the topic.
3. When considering original research topics for your dissertation, don’t overlook the possibility of synthesizing subdisciplines. It isn’t unusual to find two different disciplines or subdisciplines that address the same problem on different domains or with different methodologies. Would using an entirely different methodology from another field reveal any new information about your area of interest? Can you build a bridge or make connections between findings from separate subdisciplines and view your topic from a new perspective?
Take Charge of Your Learning
4. When taking classes and reading assignments, make a note of every term, concept, and reference to another work that you are not familiar with. Then, take the time to learn about unfamiliar ideas. Unfortunately, many people don’t learn how to be true lifelong learners during their undergraduate studies. If you haven’t learned how to facilitate your own learning and intellectual growth before now, then now is the time to learn this crucial skill. The ability to recognize gaps in your own knowledge and take steps to strengthen your areas of weakness is one mark of a person with a sound education.
5. Learn all you can about research methods in your discipline. While research methods are broadly divided into quantitative, qualitative, and mixed methods, within those general areas are many specific submethods. Understand the methodology that is generally used in the subdiscipline you are focusing on and how it compares to other methodologies you could use. Learn to use the terminology correctly, making it part of your everyday vocabulary.
6. When doing research on your selected topic, work on understanding and evaluating all sides of the issues, both in terms of research methods used and in terms of theories pertaining to your area of interest. Be open-minded when reading viewpoints that oppose your own, think clearly about why you don’t agree with an author’s stance, and build clear, specific arguments that directly address the points that you don’t agree with. Again, understand and learn to use terminology correctly.
7. If you will be using statistics, consider auditing a stats course or, at the very least, invest in a good textbook on statistics. Learn to talk and write about statistics correctly and knowledgeably. Being able to input numbers into SAS or another software program and then run a function is not the equivalent of understanding statistics. For your use of statistics to be meaningful and professional, you must understand and be able to talk knowledgeably about population selection, the use of variables and forms of measurement, the appropriate equations to use for your analytical purposes, and what you have actually “found” or “revealed” as a result of the method or methods applied. You need to be able to explain why you are inputting certain numbers, where those numbers came from and what they represent, why a certain statistical function is being used, and what the results indicate about your topic. Practice applying your knowledge of statistics whenever you read about a study using quantitative data.
Organize, Organize, Organize!
8. Set up a good organization system for your library of articles and books at the very beginning of your graduate studies. If you have hard copies of articles, invest in a small file cabinet and folders and file the articles according to topic, subdiscipline, or author name. Use a system that makes sense to you. If you can’t decide how to file a particular article, use a note system within your filing system to indicate the location of a file. For example, if you have an article about research conducted on the effectiveness of using live chat in online learning, but the article begins with an informative discussion about the methodology used, you may want to file the article with others addressing research on the effectiveness of using live chat, but, in folders that contain info on methodology and online learning in general, note the location of this file. (Make brief, clearly written notes on the inside covers of the folder or on sticky notes attached to the inside covers.)
9. Learn and use good file management on your computer. Many articles today are available as PDFs. Such files can be searched for key terms, but you can’t search in an article if you can’t find it. Learn to create folders on your computer and nest them. For example, a folder on online learning could hold folders about specific theories addressing online learning as well as tools that can be used in facilitating online learning.
10. As part of your file management, begin building a spreadsheet file (or a database if you have the software and know-how) of all the articles, books, webpages, and videos you have found. For books containing chapters written by different authors, create an entry for each chapter. Along with the authors’ names (ALL authors’ names) and titles, include the date, publication information, page spans for articles and chapters, original publication information (if applicable), main points about the source (thesis statement, research methods used), and the location of the item in your filing system. For example, “Paper-online learning-live chat” would indicate that the item is a hard copy in your file cabinet in the live-chat folder in the online-learning area or drawer, and “PDF-online learning-quantitative-transcript analysis” would indicate you have a file on your computer in the transcript-analysis folder that is within the quantitative-methods folder within the online-learning folder. If you accessed the item online, be sure to record the DOI (preferred by most documentation styles) or the URL for pages or PDFs at websites. You may also want a field that indicates the various subtopics that the source touches on. (For instance, an article on using live chat in online learning may be also be marked as having information on quantitative research methods and constructivist learning theory.)
Know Your Documentation Style
11. Early on in your research process, determine the documentation style you will use. Your grad school or program may mandate a particular style, or you may be free to select your own. If you can select your own, learn the style that is used most often in your discipline. If the choice is still open, choose an author-date style (references at the end of the document and in-text parenthetical citations within the text) because it is the easiest and least time-consuming to use and is easily revised.
12. Once you know which documentation style you will use for your dissertation, buy the appropriate manual and use it as often as possible for papers written in classes. Note that “documentation” styles include much more than simply how sources are cited. They often specify how numbers are to be treated in the text, how tables and figures are displayed, how sources are referred to (e.g., APA requires past tense when writing about a source while literary works cited in MLA are generally written about in present tense), and even which prefixes occur with hyphens and what types of phrases are hyphenated. Becoming familiar with the documentation style before you actually begin writing the dissertation will make your writing process much easier. Again, being thoroughly familiar with the documentation style for your discipline is one mark of having a sound education.
Taking the time to consider these tips early on in your graduate studies can make the process of writing your dissertation go more smoothly and strengthen the integrity of your work. Tips 4-12 can actually save you time when you move into that time-intensive period of writing parts of your dissertation and passing them to your committee for comments. These tips can also help you avoid embarrassment as a result of the types of comments your committee members could make.
The stronger your dissertation is before you send it to a dissertation editing service, the better your final product will be.
10 Steps to Writing a Research Paper in 5 Days
These steps do not need to be completed all at once (or even at all if you feel you’re all set in the rough draft department). Space them out over the next five days. If you sit down for about one hour a day between now and then, you will have ample time to write an engaging and effective rough draft.
Day 1
1. Write a tentative thesis statement that meets the following criteria:
Narrows your subject to an appropriate scope
Claims something specific and significant
Conveys your purpose
Offers a debatable point of view
2. Sit down for 30 minutes. Spend 10 minutes each on three of the following prewriting exercises:
Brainstorming
Listing
Clustering
Freewriting
Asking Questions
Journal Writing
Day 2
3. Spend 30 minutes searching through the online library to identify four more sources. Print them out. At this point, you should have at least 8-10 sources at your disposal.
4. Sit down for one hour. Read through your sources and for each, write a three-sentence summary and identify three quotes you could use.
Day 3
5. Sit down for 30 minutes. Write a 2-page informal letter to a friend, teacher, or other recipient (it won’t be sent), telling them what you know about your topic, what your position is, and why. Do not spend time on grammar or organization at this point – just write complete sentences. When done, put the letter aside.
6. Choose your four favorite sources. Develop a prompt for your topic similar to those used for in-class essays. For example:
In the near future, it is possible that robotics will replace many jobs that are currently held by humans. In his articles “Robots Prepare for the Battlefield by First Fighting City Traffic” and “Robot-Assisted Rescuers Seek Answer in Wake of Utah,” Larry Greenemeier describes how robots are being used to complete tasks that are too difficult or dangerous for humans. It is also feasible that robots will substitute for other humans in social relationships. In the article “Could Robots Become Your Toddler’s New Best Friend?” Nikhil Swaminathan relates the details of an experiment where toddlers befriended a robot and treated it like another child. Robert Epstein, in his article “My Date with a Robot,” shares his own experience of dating Repliee Q1expo, a humanlike robot.
Write an essay in which you compare the robot/human relationships each author describes, making sure to summarize each article briefly before quoting from it. Develop a thesis in which you put forth your views as to what extent you believe robots can replace humans in various facets of life, such as labor and social relationships. Support your argument with reference to all four essays, outside texts (books, films, television, news, etc.), and/or examples from your own experience.
Day 4
7. Sit down for one hour and respond to the prompt you have written, exactly as you would during an in-class essay. (Later, revise your response to submit as the synthesis essay assignment due on Tuesday.)
8. Read over the letter you wrote in step 5 and the prompt response you wrote in step 7. Imagine you have been asked to break down your topic into four smaller two-page sections. Create evocative titles for each section. For example:
Robots: Friend or Foe?
Crash Test Dummies Exist for a Reason
After Dinner, A Robot Does the Dishes
What Would I Be Able to Do Instead if a Robot Could Write This Essay?
Put the titles aside.
Day 5
9. Write an outline to determine the best way to organize your essay. Do not use the titled sections yet. Try to get by without them at first to see if you can.
10. Put your prewriting, the source summaries and quotes, the letter, and the synthesis essay into one document. Move the text around using cut and paste until all usable text has been organized following the outline. Fill in the blanks so that all outline points are addressed and the document reads like the rough draft of an essay. Edit for grammar and flair. Proofread and let go!
Dissertation Writing: The Top 5 Strategies for Success
Writing a dissertation can be an overwhelming thought for doctoral students. For those students that are considering writing a dissertation, it may be helpful to consider the following tips:
Think in terms of baby steps
Many students can be intimidated by the thought of writing 100-200 pages of information. The key for the student to be successful is to work one step at a time and try not to let the overall project overwhelm them. Universities usually provide checklists with guidelines indicating what should be included within each chapter or section. Some schools have templates that many use to help with formatting. Check out sites like www.bold-ed.com to obtain these templates. The template can help by having the table of contents and all tabs and page breaks set up. They can also guide the students with suggestions about how much content should be in each section.
Pick a topic
For some, just picking a topic can be a challenge as many things may interest them. When considering the five chapters that are required, sometimes beginning with Chapter 2 can help students narrow down their topic of interest. Chapter 2 contains a review of the current research that is available. While researching for content for Chapter 2, students learn what others have written about their area of interest. It is helpful for students to read as many peer-reviewed articles about their topic as they can find. It is also helpful to read previously published dissertations on similar topics. The student should be looking for gaps in the literature, where more research is needed.
Pick a population
Many students are interested in doing quantitative studies. The problem many students run into is that they want to study a very large group. Although this is an admirable goal, it can be very difficult to do. Students should try to get results that are meaningful. By narrowing down the population to a very specific group, it is much easier to obtain the data and it can dramatically reduce time and financial requirements. For example: Instead of thinking about the relationship between emotional intelligence and women, students could narrow down the topic to study the relationship between emotional intelligence in women in a specific company or industry or town.
Have a good editor
One of the biggest problems students run into when submitting their papers is that they have not done enough editing. Perhaps you should consider employing a dissertation editing service. The review board will be extremely picky about what they will accept. Currently APA 6th edition is required by many universities. When picking an editor, it is crucial that the editor has a strong understanding of APA 6th edition. There have been many changes to the latest edition such as having two spaces after a period, heading changes and other important updates. A good editor will know how to check the student’s paper for these issues. Doctoral students are expected to write in a scholarly tone. There should not be any first person references; fluff words like however and therefore should be avoided. When Chapters 1, 2 and 3 are written, they must be written in future tense. Every time the student’s study is mentioned, it should be referred to as the proposed study and never just the study. Later, after Chapters 4 and 5 are written, the student will need to go back and change all chapters to past tense.
Have a good statistician
Not all students are statistically gifted. Many schools suggest that students hire a good statistician to help with Chapters 3 and 4. It is extremely important to have a good understanding of SPSS software; a good statistician can help with this. If students do not know of a good statistician, their mentor may be able to suggest one.
About the Author: Dr. Diane Hamilton’s formal education includes a Bachelor of Science, a Master of Arts and a Doctorate degree in Business Management. She is a doctoral mentor and currently teaches business-related subjects for six online universities. She is the author of The Online Student’s User Manual, How to Reinvent Your Career and It’s Not You It’s Your Personality. She can be reached through her blog at http://drdianehamilton.wordpress.com or her website at http://drdianehamilton.com.